Friday

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men. - Gothe

I was the unwilling captive last night of nightmares. All day today it has been a shadow on my heart. It makes me wonder why sometimes our own minds turn to the things that will scare us most to throw on the reel of our midnight drive-in. I've been told by many people that we have the ability to control our dreams. I went through one part of my life having nightmares every night that would even make Stephen King blanch. No matter how many time's I've been told of this unwitting ability to control and change our dreams I've never been able to grasp it. I'm not so sure I want to be able to control them, being captive of this dark side of my imagination at least gives me an excuse as to why I have them. I don't think I want that responsibility. I'll settle for being a captive on this strange boat and excuse all the disturbing, frightening, phantoms that slip quietly through my subconscious. It's really no reflection on how I think. I don't know where these things come from. I guess there are common fears all our minds will play on. Like last night, the fear of loosing my parents. Why my mind chooses to be so vivid and detailed on the other hand I don't know, perhaps it comes with the territory of being a writer, an over active imagination even when your unconscious. I will admit, however, some of my best ideas have come in that haze that is somewhere between asleep and awake. I know that probably sounds horrible from an artistic stand point, but there seems to be part of my mind that isn't always in the forefront that is constantly working on different writings. I'm like a dual core CPU (geek moment, please forgive me).
Luckily for me and everyone else that isn't undead, none of my dreams have ever come to pass. I think some dreams are premonitions, but I think those are different sorts of dreams. Heaven sent dreams that you understand as premonitions when you are having them. I've never had one and I don't think I ever want one. My favorite quote has always been "to know the future is to be forced to abandon hope." A simple line out of a Fantasy book series by Margret Wise and Tracy Hickman, that statement is wholly true and, I believe it explains our fear of such events concerning the future.